Ivanti Has Clever Things to Say on World Poetry Day (Part 2 of 2)
Last week we wrote a blog in celebration of a lesser known holiday called World Poetry Day, which occurs every year on March 21. Our Ivanti Insiders submitted their best IT-related poems of all different styles.
Not to be outdone by the Ivanti Insiders, some of our employees flexed their rhyming muscles as well. So fill your glass with your favorite drink and enjoy this poetry that doesn't stink.
You may also navigate directly to a person's poetry by clicking their name in the Table of Poets below.
Table of Poets
- Ashtyn Creel, Content Manager
- Brent Bluth, Sr. Marketing Editor
- Dan Lalli, Marketing Communications Specialist
- Erica Azad, Manager, Marketing Campaigns (Bracknell, UK)
- Ian Hughes, Senior Software Developer (Daresbury, UK)
- Jared Richardson, Webinar Manager
- Justin Rozario, Sr. Account Manager (Sydney, Australia)
- Karen Rosati, Executive PA, Sales (Bracknell, UK)
- Loretta Beaty, Customer Advocacy Marketing Specialist
- Lukasz Krupinski, Technical Support Engineer (Warsaw, Poland)
- Lynn Moseley, Sr. Technical Writer (Daresbury, UK)
- Mareike Fondufe, Sr. Product Marketing Manager
- Matt Walsh, Staff Product Support Engineer (Daresbury, UK)
- Mike Mosley, Sr. Product Marketing Manager
- Rob DeStefano, Senior Product Marketing Manager
- Sara Coppock, Field Marketing Executive (Bracknell, UK)
- Thomas Heile, Marketing Automation Manager
Quick! Get the last roll!
Unusual shortages take a toll
And the kids are all indoors
Requesting candy and no chores
As Spring flowers start to bloom
News only shows doom and gloom
The days seem longer without commutes
In the closet are the dresses and the suits
Neighborhood walks make the dogs feel free
Everyone tries to stave off insanity
Laundry Down Under
Transcription software tripped on “Ivanti”;
heard it as “laundry,” “Aussie,” and “coffee.”
That’s not all
it picked up on a call.
It guessed “rocky” and also “Devante”.
PM-War Room audio broken
Many meetings left unspoken
Work goes on
And on and on
A new building is the solution
Ode to IT Visibility
It’s no good to use spreadsheets and lists
To manage your IT environment.
Can you secure what you don’t know exists?
No! You need asset enlightenment.
Better IT requires a full view
Of processes, services, and assets.
If you don’t know your org through-and-through
Your team will surely be left with regrets.
For better outcomes and a stronger team
These insights should be your foundation.
Without them, you’ll be left to dream
Of processes rid of frustration.
Now is the time to optimize IT
And it all starts with visibility.
The Ivanti Marketeers
The Three Musketeers was written
“All for one and one for all”
Was the battle-cry they swore
Now let me tell a different tale
About a group grown through the years
They’re all for one and one for all
It’s the Ivanti Marketeers
Here’s a bit about the group
Which numbers eighty-three
Their goal is to help spread the word
About IT leader, Ivanti
Karen and her team of two
Who run corporate events
I don’t know how they keep their cool
When everyone shares their two cents
A team I work with daily
Who don’t get enough credit
Are the incredible PMMs
Who are invaluable, there, I said it.
The captain of Demand Gen
Is Derek, voted “MVP”
He’s famous in the office
For ankles showing, sock-free
The group that keeps us cutting edge,
They’re all about the brand
Is Ivanti’s Creative team
Who will always lend a hand.
The largest team is in the field
Run by Sue McGuire
This group really knows their stuff
As my mentors, they inspire
Melanie runs the content team
She’s a busy bee
She keeps us all aligned
On messaging strategy
Don’t forget the rock stars
You’ll speak with on the phone
We send SDRs all our leads
Or else they’ll have a moan
Amberly and Catherine
Handle communications and PR
And Leigh owns the channel
Keeping partners a shining star
Last but not least, Joey
I’d be remiss if I didn’t call out
She runs the show, I do not know
What we’d do without
With Angie at the helm,
Making this department run
Many parts come together
The Marketeers are all for one.
My Humble Abode
Have you ever heard the tale,
Of this I.T. company,
It's pretty special don't you know,
And it goes by the name Ivanti.
So let me start by saying,
I do not mean this as a tout,
But when it comes to Unified I.T,
That's what Ivanti's all about.
From managing your endpoints,
To patching and security,
There's no one better to serve your needs,
Than my dearest sweet company.
But first let me take the time,
And proudly describe to you,
Some of the people that I know,
That make all of this come true.
Let me tell you about our C.T.O,
Who's teeth are oh so white,
He goes by the name of Jason Mitchell,
Our lord, our saviour, our knight.
Or perhaps you may of heard of,
The humble Robin Rowe,
When it comes to Product Management,
He's the best you'll ever know.
But when it comes to PowerBI,
There's really no need for debates,
There's a pro that goes by many names,
Such as Commander Data or Matt Yates.
My dearest Ricky Bobby,
Who's oh so slender and so neat,
I've never seen you frown or cry,
In fact, I've never seen you eat.
This is where the magic happens,
This is where I write my code,
This is where I come to work,
This is My, humble abode.
So as my tale draws to a close,
I hope you're not left wishing,
Why you didn't buy our products,
And left tortured with malware or phishing.
But alas I know you're not that dim,
You heeded my good advice,
You bought all our products, post-haste,
And you didn't even think twice.
So whilst your environment is patching,
Relax, and pop on the kettle,
And don't worry if nothing works afterwards,
We can always just blame Chris Goettl.
You join, wide-eyed, ears tuned, ready to learn
Our voices cut the silence
That is if you’re connected to the Webex audio
Insights. Questions. Answers.
Extended Haiku: Love Triangle
“No thanks, Ivanti”
said Bob, the CISO to rep.
“Our system’s secure.”
“We have locked it down!
We can and will stop it all.
IT team’s got this!”
Later in the day
Bob clicked on a pretty link.
Millions have been lost.
Darn “Nigerian General”;
the link lost Bob’s job.
Must heed Ivanti.
Bob would still be well employed.
Ode of an Executive PA
Arriving at my desk for nine,
with my professional head on.
Sitting outside the office of,
one Mr. Nigel Seddon.
He’s always on a call,
so best to catch him when he’s free.
But even at his busiest,
he’s scared to ask for tea.
It’s almost been three years,
I’d say I’ve come out of my shell.
Although most likely to send me back,
are expenses from Mr. Brickell.
Quarter end can be manic,
you’ll get swept up in the current.
But even then, don’t misspell,
When emailing Mr. Durrant.
He’ll send it back and make some notes,
just like a school headmaster.
But that’s ok, we learn to spell check,
Just a little faster.
Mr. Shepherd runs the Pre-Sales team,
and not just for the craic.
Chris Powell travels in from Wales,
most days we send him back.
Mr Robson-Frisby got the job,
after facing quite the panel.
But doing fine, his time to shine,
Managing the Channel.
Finale to be mentioned,
or else I’ll get a scalding.
The Bracknell office, being run,
by Mr. Andy Baldin.
He joins the fun and buys us cakes,
despite his travel plan.
And if you want to speak to him,
you must go through Joanne.
We’ve got EPM and Desktop Now,
I think Shavlik I’ve seen.
Xtraction, Service Desk and SaaS,
who knows what all these mean.
I help them all, when they call,
with a smile upon my face.
It’s a fair assumption, despite my gumption,
I love being in this place.
A supporting role, can take its toll,
but this one comes stress free.
A day in the life, with woes and strife,
Working for IVANTI.
They keep things going
Like a hot cup of coffee
They never stop
Like bees in a hive
They're duties are endless
The thanks not enough
Silent heroes in the background
Like an IT professional
There once was an IT worker named Larry
He solved everyone’s problems
Was the only one who could solve em
The whole weight of the company he did carry
Harrowing Denouement of Opprobrious Initial Response Time
Roses are red
I work in Support
I missed IRT
I’m Lord Voldemort
We Are Ivanti
Merge AppSense, Shavlik and Res
With Landesk, Heat and the rest;
Add vision and talent a-plenty
And the result is a winner - Ivanti!
Where’s my ipad my little kid pries
Where’s that device the security team cries.
Stuffed in the cupboard, or lost on the plane
We really need to take control of our assets again.
Spreadsheets and inventory are out of date
Our compliance reports are always late
Know what we have, so we get a head start
Discovery tools, they need to be smart
Let’s manage our assets from cradle to grave
Optimize performance, cost and be brave
Make decisions with the right insights in hand
Automated reports to help us see where we land
Asset visibility is key, let’s get that straight.
No more excuses, if we want to get ahead.
Ivanti’s ITAM solutions get us there
With better insights AND better outcomes that’s rare
Beware of the Phisherman!
A hacker sits in a darkened room,
Planning his attack very soon.
Writing payloads of malware with intent,
To a victim to whom it will be sent.
Ping, a mail!
What's this link,
Let’s click and see,
…Bitcoin, what's this currency?
The victim starts to slouch and grimm,
“Ivanti wouldn't have let this in!”
Patch for Windows, Application Control
Wouldn't have left me in this hole!
Why do you frustrate me so?
Everyday reaching out
With problems I swear ($*@#!) we trained you about!
The first thing we discussed
Was a good password is a must
No, password123 is still not okay
And neither is qwerty
I'm thinking…zero trust
And that time when you clicked
On that phish bait and got tricked
All your contact's info retrieved
Random pyramid scheme emails we ALL received
Making everyone ticked
I tell myself, a level 57 WoW Mage never runs from a fight
But to be honest, all this frustration has got me uptight
How can we meet such compliance?
While you are so full of defiance?
User, oh user, hear my plight
Your privileges and access are not alright
I'm going to now revoke
Just like I did to that poor finance bloke
Shields up. Goodnight.
Tech ambiguity is erased by visibility
Yielding insights to act decisively
What assets do we have?
And where are they now?
And is it secured?
It must be, but how?
Better outcomes inside & out of IT
Discover all the solutions from Ivanti
Now I know this won’t come as a surprise, and lying if I said ‘I had it in the bag’
For writing poetry is not my forte, though I think I could give it a go.
Not knowing what to write, hoping the words will fall in my lap.
Putting pen to paper, this is harder than first thought!
Thinking of a topic, what’s hot right now? Come on Sara, brain into gear,
Poetry Day, only 96 hours, release that inner Edgar Allan!
I know what! Corona is what!
In the news, on the tele, there’s just no telling, will Interchange still be winning?
Events across the globe, from Europe to US, need to make decisions, determinations.
Will events be put to rest? Making way for virtual, ready to take the place?
Or Webinars? Now we’re talking!
Being a Marketeer is not that easy, so please Corona, take it easy!