Ivanti Has Clever Things to Say on World Poetry Day (Part 2 of 2)

Quarantine

Quick! Get the last roll!

Unusual shortages take a toll

And the kids are all indoors

Requesting candy and no chores

As Spring flowers start to bloom

News only shows doom and gloom

The days seem longer without commutes

In the closet are the dresses and the suits

Neighborhood walks make the dogs feel free

Everyone tries to stave off insanity

Ashtyn Creel

Brent Bluth

Laundry Down Under

Transcription software tripped on “Ivanti”;

heard it as “laundry,” “Aussie,” and “coffee.”

That’s not all

it picked up on a call.

It guessed “rocky” and also “Devante”.

Brent Bluth

Brent Bluth

PM-War Room audio broken

Many meetings left unspoken

Work goes on

And on and on

A new building is the solution

Dan Lalli

Ode to IT Visibility

It’s no good to use spreadsheets and lists

To manage your IT environment.

Can you secure what you don’t know exists?

No! You need asset enlightenment.

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Better IT requires a full view

Of processes, services, and assets.

If you don’t know your org through-and-through

Your team will surely be left with regrets.

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For better outcomes and a stronger team

These insights should be your foundation.

Without them, you’ll be left to dream

Of processes rid of frustration.

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Now is the time to optimize IT

And it all starts with visibility.

Erica Azad

The Ivanti Marketeers

The Three Musketeers was written

In eighteen-forty-four

“All for one and one for all”

Was the battle-cry they swore

-

Now let me tell a different tale

About a group grown through the years

They’re all for one and one for all

It’s the Ivanti Marketeers

-

Here’s a bit about the group

Which numbers eighty-three

Their goal is to help spread the word

About IT leader, Ivanti

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Karen and her team of two

Who run corporate events

I don’t know how they keep their cool

When everyone shares their two cents

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A team I work with daily

Who don’t get enough credit

Are the incredible PMMs

Who are invaluable, there, I said it.

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The captain of Demand Gen

Is Derek, voted “MVP”

He’s famous in the office

For ankles showing, sock-free

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The group that keeps us cutting edge,

They’re all about the brand

Is Ivanti’s Creative team

Who will always lend a hand.

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The largest team is in the field

Run by Sue McGuire

This group really knows their stuff

As my mentors, they inspire

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Melanie runs the content team

She’s a busy bee

She keeps us all aligned

On messaging strategy

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Don’t forget the rock stars

You’ll speak with on the phone

We send SDRs all our leads

Or else they’ll have a moan

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Amberly and Catherine

Handle communications and PR

And Leigh owns the channel

Keeping partners a shining star

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Last but not least, Joey

I’d be remiss if I didn’t call out

She runs the show, I do not know

What we’d do without

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With Angie at the helm,

Making this department run

Many parts come together

The Marketeers are all for one.

Erica Azad

My Humble Abode

Have you ever heard the tale,

Of this I.T. company,

It's pretty special don't you know,

And it goes by the name Ivanti.

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So let me start by saying,

I do not mean this as a tout,

But when it comes to Unified I.T,

That's what Ivanti's all about.

-

From managing your endpoints,

To patching and security,

There's no one better to serve your needs,

Than my dearest sweet company.

-

But first let me take the time,

And proudly describe to you,

Some of the people that I know,

That make all of this come true.

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Let me tell you about our C.T.O,

Who's teeth are oh so white,

He goes by the name of Jason Mitchell,

Our lord, our saviour, our knight.

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Or perhaps you may of heard of,

The humble Robin Rowe,

When it comes to Product Management,

He's the best you'll ever know.

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But when it comes to PowerBI,

There's really no need for debates,

There's a pro that goes by many names,

Such as Commander Data or Matt Yates.

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My dearest Ricky Bobby,

Who's oh so slender and so neat,

I've never seen you frown or cry,

In fact, I've never seen you eat.

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This is where the magic happens,

This is where I write my code,

This is where I come to work,

This is My, humble abode.

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So as my tale draws to a close,

I hope you're not left wishing,

Why you didn't buy our products,

And left tortured with malware or phishing.

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But alas I know you're not that dim,

You heeded my good advice,

You bought all our products, post-haste,

And you didn't even think twice.

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So whilst your environment is patching,

Relax, and pop on the kettle,

And don't worry if nothing works afterwards,

We can always just blame Chris Goettl.

Ian Hughes

You join, wide-eyed, ears tuned, ready to learn

Our voices cut the silence

That is if you’re connected to the Webex audio

Insights. Questions. Answers.

Webinars.

Jared Richardson

Extended Haiku: Love Triangle

“No thanks, Ivanti”

said Bob, the CISO to rep.

“Our system’s secure.”

-

“We have locked it down!

We can and will stop it all.

IT team’s got this!”

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Later in the day

Bob clicked on a pretty link.

Everything crumbles.

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Millions have been lost.

Darn “Nigerian General”;

the link lost Bob’s job.

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Must heed Ivanti.

Bob would still be well employed.

Unified IT.

Justin Rozario

Ode of an Executive PA

Arriving at my desk for nine,

with my professional head on.

Sitting outside the office of,

one Mr. Nigel Seddon.

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He’s always on a call,

so best to catch him when he’s free.

But even at his busiest,

he’s scared to ask for tea.

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It’s almost been three years,

I’d say I’ve come out of my shell.

Although most likely to send me back,

are expenses from Mr. Brickell.

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Quarter end can be manic,

you’ll get swept up in the current.

But even then, don’t misspell,

When emailing Mr. Durrant.

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He’ll send it back and make some notes,

just like a school headmaster.

But that’s ok, we learn to spell check,

Just a little faster.

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Mr. Shepherd runs the Pre-Sales team,

and not just for the craic.

Chris Powell travels in from Wales,

most days we send him back.

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Mr Robson-Frisby got the job, 

after facing quite the panel.

But doing fine, his time to shine,

Managing the Channel.

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Finale to be mentioned,

or else I’ll get a scalding.

The Bracknell office, being run,

by Mr. Andy Baldin.

-

He joins the fun and buys us cakes,

despite his travel plan.

And if you want to speak to him,

you must go through Joanne.

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We’ve got EPM and Desktop Now,

I think Shavlik I’ve seen.

Xtraction, Service Desk and SaaS,

who knows what all these mean.

-

I help them all, when they call,

with a smile upon my face.

It’s a fair assumption, despite my gumption,

I love being in this place.

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A supporting role, can take its toll,

but this one comes stress free.

A day in the life, with woes and strife,

Working for IVANTI.

Karen Rosati

They keep things going

Like a hot cup of coffee

They never stop

Like bees in a hive

They're duties are endless

The thanks not enough

Silent heroes in the background

Like an IT professional

Loretta Beaty

There once was an IT worker named Larry
He worked hard every day never tarried

He solved everyone’s problems

Was the only one who could solve em

The whole weight of the company he did carry

Loretta Beaty

Harrowing Denouement of Opprobrious Initial Response Time

Roses are red

I work in Support

I missed IRT

I’m Lord Voldemort

Lukasz Krupinski

We Are Ivanti

Merge AppSense, Shavlik and Res

With Landesk, Heat and the rest;

Add vision and talent a-plenty

And the result is a winner - Ivanti!

Lynn Moseley

Where’s my ipad my little kid pries

Where’s that device the security team cries.

Stuffed in the cupboard, or lost on the plane

We really need to take control of our assets again.

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Spreadsheets and inventory are out of date

Our compliance reports are always late

Know what we have, so we get a head start

Discovery tools, they need to be smart

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Let’s manage our assets from cradle to grave

Optimize performance, cost and be brave

Make decisions with the right insights in hand

Automated reports to help us see where we land

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Asset visibility is key, let’s get that straight.

No more excuses, if we want to get ahead.

Ivanti’s ITAM solutions get us there

With better insights AND better outcomes that’s rare

Mareike Fondufe

Beware of the Phisherman!

A hacker sits in a darkened room,

Planning his attack very soon.

Writing payloads of malware with intent,

To a victim to whom it will be sent.

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Ping, a mail!

What's this link,

Let’s click and see,

…Bitcoin, what's this currency?

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The victim starts to slouch and grimm,

“Ivanti wouldn't have let this in!”

Patch for Windows, Application Control

Wouldn't have left me in this hole!

Matt Walsh

IT Laments

Users–oh users–ohh

Why do you frustrate me so?

Everyday reaching out 

With problems I swear ($*@#!) we trained you  about!

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The first thing we discussed

Was a good password is a must

No, password123 is still not okay

And neither is qwerty

I'm thinking…zero trust 

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And that time when you clicked

On that phish bait and got tricked

All your contact's info retrieved

Random pyramid scheme emails we ALL received

Making everyone ticked

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I tell myself, a level 57 WoW Mage never runs from a fight

But to be honest, all this frustration has got me uptight

How can we meet such compliance?

While you are so full of defiance?

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User, oh user, hear my plight

Your privileges and access are not alright

I'm going to now revoke

Just like I did to that poor finance bloke

Shields up. Goodnight.

Mike Mosley

Tech ambiguity is erased by visibility

Yielding insights to act decisively

What assets do we have? 

And where are they now?

And is it secured? 

It must be, but how?

Better outcomes inside & out of IT

Discover all the solutions from Ivanti

Rob DeStefano

Now I know this won’t come as a surprise, and lying if I said ‘I had it in the bag’

For writing poetry is not my forte, though I think I could give it a go.

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Not knowing what to write, hoping the words will fall in my lap.

Putting pen to paper, this is harder than first thought!

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Thinking of a topic, what’s hot right now? Come on Sara, brain into gear,

Poetry Day, only 96 hours, release that inner Edgar Allan!

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I know what! Corona is what!

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In the news, on the tele, there’s just no telling, will Interchange still be winning?

Events across the globe, from Europe to US, need to make decisions, determinations.

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Will events be put to rest? Making way for virtual, ready to take the place?

Or Webinars? Now we’re talking!

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Being a Marketeer is not that easy, so please Corona, take it easy!

Sara Coppock

Phishing

Please

Help

Infiltrate

Secure

Housing

Including

National

Governments

Thomas Heile