457776611

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

 SANTA ANNOUNCES HE WILL NO LONGER ACCEPT LETTERS, HAS UPGRADED TO A REQUEST MANAGEMENT PORTAL

THE NORTH POLE- December 25, 2014- Nicolas Kringle Corporation (NK) announced today that it will update all internal IT systems and processes to bring the company into the 21st century. Elfin Lumen, vice president of operations explained the new direction of the company during a press conference this morning at the company’s headquarters in Northern Canada.

“Next year Santa Claus will no longer be accepting letters,” Lumen said. ”Instead, NK will use a Request Management Portal.”

In a letter to investors, a company representative for NK described the new Request Management Portal in greater detail. These are some of the highlights:

  • A catalog database will be populated with toys, computers, books, phones, and edible sweets. Items such as socks, underwear, toiletries, or anything else commonly misrepresented as Christmas gifts will NOT be added to the catalog.
  • Children will be required to logon to the portal. Based on their age, their report cards, and their behavior over the previous 12 months, they will be assigned to one of three groups. Naughty, Nice, or in-between.
  • Catalog items made available to children will depend on two factors; assigned group and child’s age
  • Children will only see catalog items they are eligible to see.
  • Catalog Items will have an associated cost which will enable executives of NK to effectively report the cost of all their offerings. However, associated costs will not be visible to the children making the requests.
  • Fulfillment of requests will be handled by automated ITIL v3 verified processes. Some items in the catalog, such as cell phones, tablets, motorized bikes, and Victoria’s Secret gift cards will require authorization.
  • For those assigned as “authorizers”, they will have the ability to authorize a request using a mobile device from anywhere in the world which will minimize delays for the fulfillment of the requests.
  • A central notice board will be displayed on the portal homepage to show key information relevant to everyone and personalized information relevant to the user signed onto the portal.

NK plans to go live with the new request management portal September 1, 2015. Letters by courier will no longer be accepted to fulfill requests after September 30, 2015.

About Nicolas Kringle Corporation (NK)

Nicolas Kringle Corporation (NK) is a multinational company that develops, manufactures, and delivers toys, computers, books, phones, candy, and bikes.  NK was founded by Kris Kringle in the year 328.  However, after a power struggle in the year 1021, Kris Kringle was fired from the company he established by the board of directors. At that time, executives believed his vision to be “out there” and out-of-touch with current times. 

During the middle ages, NK was struggling and unable to repay its debts. In 1743, Kris Kringle rejoined the company and has been credited for making NK profitable once again.